Here are some of my favourite quotes in no particular order.

"Interesting" ways to say someone's stupid:

- A few beers short of a 6-pack.
- All foam, no beer.
- The cheese slid off his cracker.
- Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
- A few clowns short of a circus.
- A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
- Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
- Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
- Proof that evolution can go in reverse.
- Receiver is off the hook.
- His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
- Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
- He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

And my all-time favourite:
- The wheel's still spinning, but the hamster's dead!

Words of wisdom from the great Einstein:

"Imagination is more important than knowledge."

"Art is the expression of the profoundest thoughts in the simplest way."

"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler."

"Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind."

"I don't believe in mathematics."

[When asked how he felt about seeing his ideas used in the atomic bomb]
"If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker."

Tip:
Never eat in an ethnic restaurant in which no people of that ethnicity are eating.
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
Here's to the crazy ones,
the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers,
The round pegs in the square holes,
the ones who see things differently.
They're not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status quo.
You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing you can't do is ignore them.
Because they change things.
They push the human race forward.
And while some may see them as the crazy ones, I see genius.
Because the ones who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.

- Apple Computer
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your actions
Life is complex - it has both real and imaginary parts
It's better to be on the ground wishing you were flying...
...then to be flying wishing you were on the ground
If it smells, it's chemistry
If it moves, it's biology
If it doesn't work, it's physics
Science is organized knowledge, Wisdom is organized life
You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track
Logic is the systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence
Always draw your curves, then plot your readings
A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make
All things are possible except skiing through a revolving door
Judgement comes from experience, experience comes from poor judgement

Last Updated: Mar 8, 2003